Kanmani - the very special child

*Kanmani*

Its 1.45pm and slowly parents, grandparents and van drivers gather at the entrance of the school gate to pick up their bundles of joy. Most mothers are busy chatting about various topics from phonics class, dance class, music class, to what lunch they had at home. A few parents and grandparents are busy with their phones. Van drivers couldn’t resist themselves from getting today’s share on the piping hot varutha verkadalai. While all of them were busy, Kanmani’s mom was standing alone and eagerly waiting for the gate to open.

Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring! Goes the bell and the gate opens. All the parents, grandparents, van drivers try to squeeze into the small gate slowly, to pick their little ones. Kanmani’s mom walks closer to Kanmani with a bright smile as if she is seeing her daughter after several years. But Kanmani is busy playing with the tag on her bag, not noticing her mother.

Kanmani’s class teacher asks her mother to wait for a while, while she sends off the other kids.  As she waits, a few mothers smile at her, some of them with a mocking stare and some did not notice her. Such stares aren’t new to Kanmani’s mom.

While all this was happening, Kanmani is busy playing with Nila banging and swinging each other’s lunch bags, giggling to glory. Kanmani and Nila share a special bond since their birth, as they stay in the same apartment. As the crowd wades off, the class teacher informs Kanmani’s mom that she is getting better at interacting with her classmates and is seated in class when required. Kanmani’s mom is happy to hear that from the teacher who had a big list of complaints during the last month’s parents teachers meeting ranging from not being seated in her place, not listening to the teacher to not playing with friends. And the feedback from the same teacher now assured Kanmani’s mom that she is in the right track.

Kanmani waves bye to her teacher with her trademark smile, however doesn’t look at her.  This is yet another concern Kanmani’s mom and teacher have – not maintaining eye contact with people while talking. Yes! Kanmani is a child with autism spectrum disorder. So what?

Kanmani and her mom stroll down the road towards their home. Kanmani walks in front of her mom looking at things around and naming them…. ‘Verkadalai’, ‘Car’, ‘Van…Hey Vanla Nila po’..and her mom adds ‘Aamam da chellam. Nila vanla veetuku pova’. Kanmani continues.. ‘Signal’ ‘Red..’ and she goes on and on. Kanmani flaps her hand now and then when she gets excited looking at things she knows. She continues to do the same while walking on the road. A few people on the road who aren’t busy with their phones, stare at her. Some wonder why the mother is not holding the child. Some give dirty looks at Kanmani’s mother as if she is doing a big sin.

Kanmani’s mom doesn't bother about what others think and react. This wasn’t so till few months back. Kanmani’s mom was extremely conscious about what people around say or think about her and her family. A year back when Kanmani wasn’t reacting to anything her parents spoke to her, they were doubtful if her hearing skills were not adequate. They consulted an ENT and their regular Paediatrician who referred them to a Clinical Psychologist and Developmental Paediatrician. After a series of assessments of her play and other behaviours, she was diagnosed to have Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Like most homes, Kanmani’s parents faced a lot of challenges from being blamed, to ignored by a few close family members and friends. This includes Nila’s parents who never let Nila and Kanmani play together, despite being close friends. It took about 8-10 months for Kanmani’s parents to accept the reality, forget about the hunt for the cause and focus on the future. That was when Kanmani started attending speech therapy, occupational therapy and special education sessions. Unlike the status in several Western countries, India is yet to have support system and professionals for handling children with special needs in every mainstream school. It was a big challenge to get Kanmani admitted to a mainstream school. Every day while picking up Kanmani from the school, her mother gets reminded of the words from Kanmani’s special educator ‘Ava aendha alavuku normal school-la set aavanu therila. Try pani parpom. Let her attend as long as she can. Pressurise pana vendam. But attending the therapies regularly is a must. Gradually if we find her interested in something else other than education, we can start focussing on that. Ilena you can get her enrolled in an early intervention centre which will have all therapies and then shift to normal school from 1st standard’. This was when Kanmani’s mom had a doubt that most parents have ‘If she sees other children with special needs who are more severe, willnt she start learning their behaviours and get worse?’. The special educator smiled at her and said ‘Special kid o normal kid o, each child will definitely imitate and learn behaviours from each other. If we encourage a behaviour it will continue existing. If we ignore it, it will go off. Namba idhu pannaadha pannaadhenu sona, kandippa kuzhandhaigal panuvanga. Inga parunga, enoda son, he is 12 years now, class la first, sema smart and intelligent. He grew up with special kids. Idhukumela ungalku ena example venum? Its all in your hands to give the best for your child. Suthi irukravunga aayiram solvanga. Hear them and take in only what is good for Kanmani. Your involvement is very important’. That moment changer her perception of life. These words keep ringing in Kanmani’s mom’s ears every now and then.

As Kanmani and her mom reach their apartment, the friendly security greets Kanmani and they give a high-five (this is a routine activity they follow every afternoon). Kanmani jumps and hops on each tile without looking down, as she has extra ordinary spatial orientation. Something hits on her foot. She looks down and finds an empty tetra pack drink. With no reaction on her face, she bends down, takes it and throws in the dustbin. An elderly couple walking behind Kanmani’s mom murmur saying ‘Road-la kupai podra old and young generation irukra indha kaalathula, indha Kanmani kutty evalo azhaga mathavanga senja thappai kuda correct pandrala’. Kanmani enters her block in the apartment, walks back to her mother who is walking behind her. Kanmani’s mom is confused. By the time she could guess the reason, Kanmani says ‘Light.. Light off..Light off’. Kanmani’s mom walks to the switch board and switches off the light. Kanmani’s mom climbs the stairs proudly along with her daughter who follows whatever is taught to her diligently. Kanmani grabs the keys from her mom and opens the door of their flat and they both enter into their ‘world of happiness’, without anyone around to judge them.

An hour later, the calling bell rings ‘Ting Tong!’. Kanmani knows who it would be. She runs to the door shouting ‘Nila! Nila!’. Her mom helps her open the door, and Nila walks in with her little pup towards Kanmani.

P.S.Thanks to all the children with special needs and families I have met and worked with over several years. They are my main inspiration. Their smile, discipline, care, love and abilities are contagious. Definitely not the ‘disability’! Empathize and not sympathize.

Article from Little India Magazine!

Dear All,

Just wanted to share this good thought provoking article with you all. Another example to show that Dream India is journey of life.

As usual,Please save them and use photo editor to read, as I have scanned and uploaded them here.

SAY A PRAYER FOR PARVATI

Jai Hind!

Regards,
Natarajan.

Articles for the week!

Dear All,

I have uploaded two articles from this week's Indian Express - North Indian edition. Please kindly read them.(Also the previous week's articles too). Lot many thanked me for sharing this. We are just doing our best to see our dream come true, nothing more.

As usual,Please save them and use photo editor to read, as I have scanned and uploaded them here.

1)Article on Poorest District in India:

Spoils of the soil

2)Article "Our poor rich" by Mr.Shekar Gupta.

Our poor little rich


Visit www.dreamindia2020.org

I will share a few more good thoughts regularly. Jai Hind!

Anbudan,
Natarajan.

Articles!

Dear All,

Please read through these two articles. These two can help us in attaining what we dream for,yeah our DreamIndia2020. Please save them and use photo editor to read, as I have scanned and uploaded them here.

1) Article on women empowerement:

women empowerment

2) Article on Model Village:

Modelvillage.jpg

Kindly read through them. If we start replicating them all over India we can make sure that our DreamIndia2020 will become true in 2015 only.

Jai Hind!

Childhood hero

Last night when I was relaxing in the bed, all of a sudden, I heard a lot of noise. However, I could clearly hear what people around were talking.

“Should not let such guys go. Let us bash him”, Said one.

“Let us take him to police; else he would become a big criminal tomorrow. Rogue…!” said the other.

Assuming something serious must have happened I rushed outside, only to find a small kid with a book in hand, surrounded by many ‘prudent’ individuals bashing him.

He would not be more than eight. I stopped them and asked,”What has happened?” They said, “This rascal from slum has stolen this book.”

Looking at the book that was almost torn, I was surprised and asked him “Hey didn’t you find anything else better?”

He did not reply, as I asked him again, he mumbled with tears, “*Anna, tomorrow is Gandhi Jayanthi, I always wanted to have one photo of him. As I saw his photo in this book, I just took this to have a closer look at it; I did not intend to run away with this.”

There was no face then, leave alone noise.

*Anna - Brother in Tamil

Jnana Yoga!!!

Upon the same tree there are two birds, one on the top, the other below. The one on the top is calm, silent, and majestic, immersed in his own glory; the one on the lower branches, eating sweet and bitter fruits by turns, hopping from branch to branch is becoming happy and miserable by turns. After a time the lower bird eats an exceptionally bitter fruit and gets disgusted and looks up and see the other bird, that wondrous one of golden plumage, who eats neither sweet nor bitter fruit, who is neither happy nor miserable, but calm, self centered and sees nothing beyond his self.

The lower bird longs for this condition but soon forgets it, and again begins to eat the fruits. In a little while, he eats another exceptionally bitter fruit, which makes him feel miserable, and he again looks up, and he tries to get nearer to upper bird. Once more he forgets and after a time he looks up, and so on he goes again and again, until he comes very near to the beautiful bird and sees a reflection of light from his plumage playing around his own body, and he feels a change and seems to melt away; still nearer he comes, and everything about him melts away, and at lat he understands this wonderful change. The lower bird was, as it were, only the substantial-looking shadow, the reflection of the higher; he himself was in essence the upper bird all the time.

This eating of fruits, sweet and bitter, this lower little bird weeping and happy by turns, was vain chimera, a dream: all along, the real bird was there above, calm and silent, glorious and majestic, beyond grief , beyond sorrow. The upper bird is God, the lord of this universe; and the lower bird is the human soul, eating the sweet and bitter fruits of this world. Now and then comes a heavy blow to the soul. For a time, he stops the eating and goes towards the unknown God, and a flood of light comes. He thinks that this world is a vain show. Yet again the senses drag him down, and he begins to eat the sweet and bitter fruits of the world. Again an exceptionally hard blow comes. His heart becomes open again to divine light; thus gradually he approaches God, and as he gets nearer and nearer, he finds his old self melting away. When he comes near enough, he sees that he is no other than God, and he exclaims, ‘He whom I have described to you as the life of this Universe, as present in the atom, and in the suns and the moons- He is the basis of our own life, the Soul of our Soul. Nay, thou art That.’

Personal comment: We read, we realize and we forget. He put that very well,
"I theorise,talk,philosophise;and the next moment something comes against me, and I unconsiously become angry, I forget there is anything in the universe than this little limted self, i forget to say, 'I am the Spirit,what is this trifle to me? I am the spirit.' I forget it is all myself playing, I forget God, I forget freedom"

Why so??? Can anyone of you help me with answer. Thanks in advance.

The Idea of Freedom and God!!!

Class lecture at Vedanta Society of New York on June 17,1900

"The embodiment of freedom, the master of nature, is what we call God. You cannot deny Him .No because you cannot move or live without the idea of freedom. Would you come here if you did not believe you were free? It is quite possible that the biologist can and will give some explanation of this perpetual effort to be free. Take all that for granted, still the idea of freedom is there. It is a fact, as much so as the other fact that you cannot apparently get over, the fact of being under nature.

Bondage and liberty, light and shadow, good and evil must be there, but the very fact of the bondage shows also this freedom hidden there. If one is fact, the other is equally fact. There must be this idea of freedom. While now we cannot see that this idea of bondage, in uncultivated man, is his struggle for freedom, yet the idea of freedom is there. The bondage of sin and impurity in the uncultivated savage is to his consciousness very small, for his nature is only a little higher than the animal's. What he struggles against in the bondage of physical nature, the lack of physical gratification, but out of this lower consciousness grows and broadens the higher conception of mental or moral bondage and a longing spiritual freedom. Here we see the divine dimly shining through the veil of ignorance. The veil is very dense at first and the light may be almost obscured, but it is there, ever pure and undimmed-the radiant fire of freedom and perfection. Man personifies this as the ruler of the Universe, the One Free Being. He does not yet know that the universe is all one, that the difference is only in degree, in the concept.

Blessedness, eternal peace, arising from perfect freedom, is the higher concept of religion underlying all the ideas of God in Vedanta-absolutely free existence, not bound by anything, no change, and no nature, nothing that can produce change in him. This same freedom is in you and in me and is the only real freedom.

God is still, established upon His own majestic changeless Self. You and I try to be one with Him, but plant ourselves upon nature, upon the trifles of daily life, on money, on fame, on human love, and all these changing forms in nature which make for bondage. When nature shines, upon what depends the shining? Upon God and not upon the sun, nor the moon, nor the stars. Wherever anything shines, whether it is the light in the sun or in the consciousness, it is He. He shining, all shines after Him.

Now we have seen that this God is self-evident, impersonal, omniscient, the Knower and Master of nature, the Lord of all. He is behind all worship and it is being done according to him, whether we know it or not. I go one step further. That at which we marvel, that which we call evil, is His worship too. This too is part of freedom. Nay, I will be terrible even and tell you that, when you are doing evil, the impulse behind is also that freedom. It may have been misguided and misled, but it was there; and there cannot be any life or any impulse unless that freedom be behind it. Freedom breathes in the throb of the universe. Unless there is unity at the universal heart we cannot understand variety. Such is the conception of Lord in the Upanishads.

To be continued...

The Forgotten Heroes

Last night I was talking to a small poor girl living around our area making her living by selling flowers. She is just 14 and has stopped going to school as she failed in class 6th and also because her father expired by then. I tried to reason her out how important it is to continue schooling and also asked her to go ahead at least till 10th standard. But she was nonchalant. I thought I have to take my time and find better ways to make her realize about this.

Finally before leaving I asked her, “Do you know who Kalam is? “She replied with some sort of disdain “I don’t know …..Rather why I should know?”
I was deeply pained and thought how tough it is going to be for us to make people realize that there are people in the society who work for them with a great dream of India 2020. I left the scene quietly mumbling “Humm…he has a dream for you all?” By then she was all the way on to her house.

Thinking about this I joined one of my friends who was waiting for me in the Hotel nearby. We had our dinner and moved home. I started discussing about the girl to him and more than any thing I was worried about the fact that she didn’t know about Dr.APJ Kalam…as we were talking some how our discussion reached a stage where I asked him“Do you know who Major Saravanan is?”He said “No I do not know”. I was shocked. I thought at least he would have heard this name. I could no way continue discussing about the poor girl having no idea about who kalam is. I told him politely that I am disappointed that he didn’t know him. He said “Come on you are asking me about some Major Saravanan and not Sharuk Khan….” That was a well directed bouncer towards my heart and it rightly hit the target.

Many of you think on the same line… Why is he getting shocked for this…after all who is going to remember all this Tom, dick and Harry….life has to go on and living has to be made……after all what is that he has done so great to be remembered.

Yeah! He has not done anything great like earning 300,000 juggling all around dancing and putting up a brave fight on the screen against enemies. He has done nothing great like hitting the pathetic (read Bangladeshi bowlers) bowlers all over the park and celebrate his 35th century in style. He has done nothing like swindling money meant for cow fodder and sensationalizes the nation. He has done no skin show like any vamp or for that mater like Janet Jackson SUPER BOWL to become the MOST SEARCHED PAGE of the year 2004. (How many Indians were there in the list??? Wonder by now your heart would have answered). He has done nothing like talking about economic reforms and so called techie stuff (where totally looking for low end menial work to be called Professionals).

The poor guy has in fact has just done a very cheap, disgusting, shameful act that is nothing BUT LOSING HIS LIFE FOR INDIA. Mind you! He is one of the real heroes of the Kargil war and not the reel hero whom we adore as “Badsha” of Bolywood. I am not blaming Sachin or Sharuk for that mater but what I am trying to tell is how our priorities have become colored by the market capitalists and the MAD MEDIA.

Read on….“Major M Saravanan, VirChakra,1 BiharOn 28 May 1999, SS-36288W Major Mariappan Saravanan was assigned the task of capturing a well fortified enemy post in the most inhospitable terrain at an altitude of 14299 feet (Pt 4268). The officer brought his coy into action on night 28/29 May 99 and launched the assault on the enemy position at 0400h on 29 May 99. Enemy opened intensive fire with automatic weapons, artillery and mortars making it difficult for Maj Saravanan and his coy to move ahead. In the face of such heavy opposition Maj Saravanan displayed unparalleled courage, and with total disregard to his personal safety charged through the volley of bullets and fired a Rocket Launcher on the enemy bunker, killing two enemies on the spot. In the fierce fighting the officer sustained splinter injuries. Two more enemies who were hiding in the bunker opened fire from the top killing once NCO and injuring Maj Saravanan. Despite being injured and facing a heavy volley of fire, Maj Saravanan eliminated both of them but later succumbed to another burst on his head. Thus Maj Saravanan, single handedly killed four enemies and led his men from front. He was honored with the title of 'Hero of Batalik' for his gallant action” Now how many of you really read that fully……if you had not shame on you…if it had been about DPS MMS clip or Kareena’s PDA we would not have reached this statement by now. If you did well Kudos! (Yeah! Our patriotism has reached such a stage that you have to congratulate people for reading things like this with patience.) Others…are you still here ….incorrigible ……please read that again.

The man fought bravely and lost his life. He knew he will be killed but why did he go……for the big 5, 00,000 rupees his family got? Or for the Vir chakra which he got??? For the he will be called “hero of Batalik”?? Nope….he went there with ONLY THE NATION in mind…is there any one who doubts that……No there can’t be….but… what we have given him in return…nothing the newspaper spoke about him for a week may be…the government run by mock sucking souls said “we honor him and our condolences to the family”. Is that what he really deserves??? Think. Isn’t that true that your heart pains thinking about this?? Don’t you feel what we essentially are missing in life??? What the essence of Vir Chakra mean???

Now read on below……“What is ZIGSOS?” was the question in the page three of the No 1 newspaper of India (In what is different issue altogether).College student: “that is a chocolate”. Software professional: “That is the brand name of Sachin’s lace”Business man: “That is Mallika Shrewat’s puppy’s fodder”The answer (proudly so) “that is Kareena’s lipstick brand name!!!”

Voila!!! Well what an important information. The information without which we would have been blown in to pieces.(I wanted to write feed our parents….but there are few minds which are ready to dump their parents for better living and their so called sweet heart as if their parents have BITTER heart)…. There are these college students who are to determine the future of India “so called India 2020” running behind these answers and losing their way.

Now I can see you all rising eyebrows “Damn it…he knows Major Saravanan okay…but does he know all of them like him….”… I accept “Nope! I don’t know by fortunate mistakes I got to know him and remember him”.

But the main reason for the blog is not to find fault with you but to do a reality check on each and every one of our priorities. Are you some one who boasts “hey I think on my own No one can force things on me…!” But when will you realize that all your priorities from morning toilet soap to the lace of your inner wear are thrust upon you by MARKET CAPITALISTS without your knowledge. Any one who comes in a Benz is believed to be of High regard in the society irrespective of what a human he is….Who made us think that way??

I wanted to make each and everyone of us think how we have been made to believe that Voyeurism with revealing jean and diaphanous attire is vogue. Make no mistake you and I …all the damn bullshit around be a doctor or engineer or even the great minds (of course exceptions are there) are all made to believe in this. From now on never say “I make decisions that are independent and that is never forced by others”…if you do so your conscience will laugh at you rather mock at you.
By now if I have failed (which I hope not) to convince you it is just because I don’t have the ability of the MARKET CAPITALISTS. They are with big MBA from IIM’s. They have cleared CAT and hence are ready to make others to be a mouse even without the concerned knowing it. I am not.

If we after all our great degree are not being able to remember these martyr’s then no wonder the poor little girl do not know who Kalam is. If you are still in the blog…then my heartfelt thanks for you …. Now we need to find a solution for this….let we do it…rather than whining…. from my side…

1) Include in the History books right from 1 standard about Kalam and Major Saravanan’s. I am not against reading BABAR and AKBAR but please make sure that we ensure these IMPORTANT things are also included. (Some one chuckling there 1st standard….come on in TN majority of 1st standard students sing title songs all serials without mistake but not National anthem….you ask their moms they would say “hey they are Kids…..cha…..you mad”….and would proudly listen them singing. Hahahahhaha!!!!! Great ways to glory…..what a right track…..next time don’t be surprised if you GET TO SEE MMS CLIPS of FIFTH standard students making news.)

2) This I feel is the best way. One individual from every family of India should serve the military for say at least three years time. This way there would be respect for the real martyr’s as there would be many in a same town or village. Military service should be made compulsory and there should be no exceptions.
These are my thoughts. I thank you all for still being with me and sharing my thoughts……Now one more help……please do share what you think would be better ways to implement this…so that we remember Captain Deepak Guleria.. Major Padmapani Acharya...And Mr. X and Mr. All…..Thank you one and all……

JAI HIND

The idea of God!!!!

Swami Vivekanada describes the idea of God as so,

What is death?What are the terrors?Do you not see the Lord's face in them?Fly from evil and terror and misery, and they will follow you. Face them and they will flee. The whole world worships ease and pleasure, and very few dare to worship that which is painful. To rise above both is the idea of freedom.Unless man passes through this gate he cannot be free. We all have to face these. We strive to worship the lord but the body rises between Him and us and blinds our vision.We must learn how to worship Him and love Him in the thunderbolt,in shame,in sorrow,in sin.All the world has ever been preaching the God of virtue. I preach a God of virtue and a God of sin in one. Take Him if you dare - that is the one way to salvation;then alone will come to us the Truth Ultimate which comes from the idea of oneness. Then will be lost the idea that one is greater than another. The nearer we approach the law of freedom,the more we shall come under the Lord, and troubles will vanish.Then we shall not differentiate the door of hell from the gate of heaven, nor differentiate between men and say,'I am greater than any being in the universe.' Until we see nothing in the world but the Lord Himself,all these evils will beset us and we shall make all these distinctions;because it is only in the Lord,in the spirit we are all one;and until we see God everywhere,this unity will not exist for us.